It seems that whenever I start a blog (and there have been money), I feel like the first post should be special. It should speak directly to the reader, so that you know what you're getting into. At this point, however, I'm sick of that. Honestly, I haven't started this blog for any other reason than to say the shit that I usually keep to myself. As you can also tell, I plan to swear here. If that's offensive, go read something else. It's not that I don't like you, and it's not that I really like ticking people off. It's just that this isn't about you, and I really don't need validation or criticism of my thoughts.
To my mom - shut up. You say crap all the time that is pretentious, assumptive, and ridiculous. If you want to interact with your children, try doing the normal things like saying "good job" when they do a good job or providing an actual place for them to visit when they're close by. Stop trying to impress people by your life experience, intelligence, geekiness, sickliness, sturdiness. Life is not a popularity contest. Stop trying so hard to be noticed, and start actually noticing the people around you as people rather than accessories to your life. Being an only child - an adopted child - a widow are ridiculous excuses for being such a needy and demanding child.
To everyone else - I'm tired today. I'm tired of children dying. I'm tired of having to find the good in bad situations. I'm tired of doing all the things I have to do, and hardly any of the things that I want to.
In English class, one of the first things we learned about writing was to use "I" less. We learned that we weren't writing a personal narrative...unless we were. Well, screw that. I...I...I. I. AM. TIRED. and angry.
So, there it is - the greatest divorce of this moment - the face/the voice/the life divorced from the soul/the heart/the mind.
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